I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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