We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
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I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
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Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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