I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
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I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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