How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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