so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize