so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
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Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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