just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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