she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize