why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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