Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize