there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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