cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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