Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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