I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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