just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize