Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
should my penis look like a turkey
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
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Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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