I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize