Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
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I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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