I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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