it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize