he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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