please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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