why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
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Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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