your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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