:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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