i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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