Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I still have a little drunk in my system
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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