So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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