y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just google imaged poop.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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