She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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