planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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