I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize