The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize