i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
be right there i have to get my cape
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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