i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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