ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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