fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
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