Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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