I got chris browned last night
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize