So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Help. Why am I so naked?
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