So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize