chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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