Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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