Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
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he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
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you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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