You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
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Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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