apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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