I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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