Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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