oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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