I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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